Poetry

Ivy Memory

darkened skies above, the side yard
is the escape,the hiding
the game we play
laughing and rolling, tumbling and giggling

Tag you’re it! and running ,diving
into the ivy, laying low.
creeping slowly and crunching snails as we go.
the cool smooth touch of leaves
crawling closely toward ...
until the pounce, Aha, I’ve got you!
tackling and rolling, laughing and struggling
amongst the green moist smells

out of breath from the run, wrestling
over and under each other, squirming
crunching noises, sounds of breath
in a pile, hearts beating amid the struggle
I give! and we giggle
rolling to our backs to see the starry night
beside each other, warm and happy
smiling, touching ,not embraced
as close as two friends can get
ivy memories and childhood friends we miss

The Morning Romp

Wiping sand from my eyes
I walk through the door
And step out
Out to a bright warm day
The wind catches my hair
And it whirls about
The warm wind rushes between my legs
I reach to hold down my skirt
Then remembering my shorts
I let it go
And enjoy the breeze

The reds and yellows catch my eye
I walk to the curb
And step down
Down to a gutter full of color
My walk begins slow
Crunch, crunch, shuffle, crunch
Smiling as I go
Then quicker I shuffle
And stomp, stomp, stomp
My walk to school
A happy romp

Tree house

Inviting my friends up into my tree
We climb to the highest branches
That support our weight - and sit
Hidden to the rest of the world

Speaking our dreams up in my tree
We keep all things private
That support our lives below
While surrounded in green seclusion

Receiving my friends into my tree
We speak of things to come
That support our friendship
Even outside our green get away

Our retreat of acceptance
Of sharing, connecting, lingering
Always awaiting our welcome visit
A world away - in my front yard


FROZE IT

I snatched that moment
froze it in time
I keep what it meant
and what it could represent
to stand for what would be
or might have been
or will be
still

One starry, starry night

One starry, starry night

it was right

like tonight

One full summer moon

lit the park

like a light

the stars shone bright

and the sky was alive

the grass welcomed us

and we rolled

toward an endless moment

a lifetime stopped

imprinted, indelibly

two lives

sharing one

one starry, starry night

one full summer moon

one endless moment


Smell Cat

I smell Cat
as simple
as that
Smelly cat
The gel, the lotion
deodorants too
Can’t hide
that smell
that cat
that you!

Chains

Clink Clank, Clink Clank
The Ship in the harbor
the Passengers on deck

Link by Link
the anchor Lowers
Link by Link
it deepens its depth

Clink Clank, Clink Clank
the crisp air
the aqua water

Link by link
it drops its weight
link by link
it sinks

Clink Clank, Clink Clank
Repetitions of steel
links
chains
clank

The Ship Sank


Inside out

I looked inside

and quickly found

my tag was on

the inside out

which meant my outs

which I thought were showing

were hidden inside

I, not knowing,

I was wearing my insides

where all could see

my heart was

outside on my sleeve



skiing

I stand at the edge of a slippery slope
looking down at my skis
I can start the run with little movements
all beginning with my knees

But I’m a beginner and if I start
I won’t know how to stop
Once I reach a certain speed
I know I’ll need to drop

a drop - Ha!
a crash into the snow
a painful ending to a little fun
that much I know

If I point them down the mountain
gravity does the rest
I’ll not get too far before I fall
even doing my best

So I must stand sideways
away from the ledge
I must not look too closely
over the edge

the edge - Oh
the beginning of the run
the simple pleasures
of “harmless” fun

Levi Weston

Levi
My only child
happy, silly. funny
Love him too many, so many
He’s Grown

Cami

Little blondie
cheeks so pink
Spreading beauty
daddy’s wink

rough and tough
take me on
smart and strong
no one’s pawn

such a cutie
wearing red
denim and tennies
thoroughbred


The magical back Rub

He’s fussy and fidgety
and absolutely uncontrollable
Nothing will calm him
No bribe or begging
No threats or looks
I’m frustrated
trying to be calm myself
So I grab him and put him
on my lap
he’s squirming as
I place my hand on his back
and begin a slow, steady scratch
In moments he relaxes
and begins to enjoy
the soothing feel of a hand against his back
he leans into me and I feel his warmth
Finally a quiet child
and I scratch his back
and I rub it
and soon I find
he’s snoring.


Out of control

Out of control
Of my creation
my children
I feel like I have become the
Heap of laundry
Piled high on the floor
And they the maid
Throwing me in different directions
As they sort the colors from the whites
The towels and linens from the delicates

Scattered around the room
The pile is no longer one
I am pieces
My parts torn apart
And displayed in their
Own messy heaps
By my messy children
Who know not what they do


build an alcove

I will build an alcove
A retreat from the storm
I will build it carefully
To protect my love from harm

I will build a storm wall
To save us from the waves
I will build it block by block
So we can sleep in the caves

I will build a bomb shelter
To protect us from any pain
I will build it slowly
And no one will know we came

I will build a castle
To ensure we have a view
I will build it step by step
It is something I can do

I will build a moat
To protect from people who are mean
I will build it shovel by shovel
And I won't ever be seen

I will build a tree fort
To give us a place to play
I will build it sturdy
So we never have to go away

I will build a life
To include those I feel near
I will build it cautiously
And keep those I hold dear


Why

I can cry
Oh me, oh my
and i can ask
why, why, why

I can try
then try and try
and i can look
to the sky, the sky

I can wonder
why me, why me
and i can ponder
of yonder, yes yonder

I can whine
not now, not mine
and i can say
its fine, all’s fine

I can cry
and I can try
I can wonder
and I can whine

but me, oh my
i can’t say why
I say all’s fine
right now with mine



The Event

its here, its here
we’ve waited so long

its here, its here
we’ll break out in song

But wait, but wait
i won’t leave it behind

but wait, but wait
nothing’s better of its kind

i wish, i wish
to hold on to this time

i wish, i wish
to keep time at its prime

Not now, not now
its just getting good

not now, not now
its all as it should

alas, alas
we must move on

alas, alas
these times are gone


a splattering of mattering

Just a splattering of mattering
is my request
Acknowledge I’m here
its no contest

You ask my opinion,
“Please give me your thought”
But choose to ignore it
that’s always my lot

A splattering of mattering
I thought was so small
Acknowledge my heart
acknowledge my soul

When I tell you I need you
see that I care
allowing you freedom
is the side that I err

A splattering of mattering
not a lot to ask
Acknowledge I’m here
Before time has passed

your words say I matter
But actions deny
Once again I’m forgotten
Listen, I’ll sigh

Just a splattering of mattering
was my request
Acknowledge its lost
At your behest


Mattering

my want of mattering
like a thousand ants scattering
with feet pitter pattering
without so much as clattering
is gone.


Come to me

Come to me and let me swim
in the depths of who you are
All i want is to hold my breathe
and dive in and explore

I love the feel of water
as it surrounds me as i swim
and i love to be immersed in it
and see how far i can go

I love the thought that somewhere
a treasure might be found
and whether it is a coral reef
or just a shell
it’s a treasure i’ll adore

But maybe it’ll be something more
a treasure i helped make
maybe it’ll be a beauty
caused by a little drip
a drip of water
that found a cavern wall
and slid right down
and left its trace
and maybe
that inward beauty
will someday be so great
that it won’t
be hidden
or lost in the darkness
but it will radiate from your face



One more day

The view is clear this winter day
Majestic clouds and blue to stay
A mountain buried in clouds below
yet towering high, covered with snow
A sunrise claims this bright new day
above the floor where children play
And darkness looms above it all
yet filling the void light sheds and calls
as pinks and orange fill distant lands
we come together and make our plans
I fly above the fluffiness
that hides from sight life’s happiness
and flow between the majesty
above and below such imagery
that leaves me knowing as well as I know
I’ll yet be here and then I’ll go
It won’t be long and so I say
I’d like to have just one more day
and one more day and one more day
to see the world, to know, to stay


I love my home

I love my home.
my solitude
my peaceful mornings
my warm baths and
reading the scriptures

I love my home
my children's laughter
my husband's snore
my sons' letters and
food galore

I love my home
it is always changing
but in some ways
it is always the same
because at home
it is where they love you

I love my home
I love Scott
I love Levi
I love Zac
I love Cami
I love Mark

I love my home.



Chambers of the Heart

The Heavy Castle Door
Slams Shut
and Echoes
Echoes
Down the Empty Stone Corridor
with Empty rooms
empty halls
empty echoes reverberate
it’s Too Late
too Late
late


squeeze

Sometimes I need you
To place your hand around
The spinning top
And squeeze
Until it stops

Then I can stand still
Until I'm no longer dizzy
And I can
walk forward
Without tripping over myself


Team Sports

Everyone is having a blast
a friendly competition
and i’m watching it from the center
of all the action
trying to see the strategy
to see the goals
and how it is done
when the ball comes my way
in my attempt to be rid of it
as quickly as possible
we score
and my teammates cheer
they celebrate my great moves
the spectators shout with glee
but i don’t have a clue how it happened
and i keep that all inside me
i can’t duplicate or knowingly contribute
and a sickness surrounds me
everyone noticed the greatness
everyone knows the good plays
they see every move
they know the strategy
and how to get the goals
but i’m sickened by the knowledge
of their attentive watching
and the knowledge of the game
As i will be found out -
dumb luck
they’ll all say
and they’ll be right.



Leaders

Leadership
willing to take a stand
give of their time
to study, to work, to understand

Accepting others
their offerings - as they come
whether plentiful or meager
they’re grateful

They could be home
comfortable, content, and organized
instead they share
with others

Not only their time
but they’re put on the line
they’re willing to be judged
to be looked at, analyzed, criticized
for something
they don’t do for money
for something
they do for someone else’s
pleasure

and when they’re put down
they shrug -

they continue giving, sharing, offering
their understanding
their leadership


Liminal

Liminal space
filled with now
and back when
overflowing with color
and still forever
Just a moment
a space
locked
a smile
for a happy thought
spreading through now
and back when
overwhelmed with feeling
and held together
in space

like a mirror



Free Fall

Pardon the expression
I know it’s depression
A scary confession
with no exception
I feel
the inward suction
I see
in my reflection
- contempt
those eyes
with sadness
spiraling
slowly
South
somewhere

It’s a free for all
free fall
fluttering forward
from framed in
preferences

I feel
the fatigue
not knowing
what I need
fatigue of
body
spirit
soul
An individual dies
My reflection
I don’t recognize
My soul
wears a disguise
It lies
to all eyes

it’s the depression
halting true expression
it feeds on itself
in
that
downward
spiral

free fall
diving
down
with
contempt
for
self
myself
me
inside
falling
forward
from
fatigue